DiabetesDaily: Out on Leave

How’s everyone doing! I feel I’ve barely write on this blog anymore. But the last few days I promise there was a pretty good reason for me not to update you guys until now even if I wanted to. Reason being was that this past Sunday, I had gone to urgent care, because I was not feeling well. I got a little bit scared because my blood sugars weren’t coming down below the 250’s. I was sick and I thought it was just flu virus that was going around, since everyone that I work with had got it, you know the flu. 

So you got me there in the urgent care, the dr lady checking me out asking the usual questions. I was feeling sick, tired, exhausted, low energy and you know typical symtoms of the flu, as well as with one day with a temperature of almost 100. That was about about a week ago. So here we have the Dr lady and the nurses giving me the flu/covid test thing. And guess what!! While at the urgent care, my damn blood sugar dropping low! Damn me! Right? Good thing I was at the urgent care, they had me on with an IV thing right away giving me that dextrose thing. Mind you I had gotten there about 10ish in the morning I thought I was going to get the heck out of there within the hour or so. But no, I was there until after 3pm. Which I did not mind it I was taken care of, and they helped me with the stupid low I had to have all of a sudden. I didn’t get the results of that flu/covid thing till the day after. And guess what came back positive! Not the flu that is for damn sure! I tested positive for the stupid covid thing! That really bothered me, because for the whole year I was was testing negative specially in the beginning of the year when everyone had to be testing for it. Mind you I am fully vaccinated along with the booster thing. Im just glad the symptoms where not as bad, as some other people had got them. Which is good, mind you being a diabetic it could had gone the wrong way. Im glad it did not though. 

  I was just out for a couple of days, taking antibiotics that im still taking, so whatever it is I still have goes away. Im finally symtom free and not feeling as shit as I was feeling a week ago. I finally got the clear that I am able to come back to work, which is where I am at the moment. But dont worry, I am only here for today, then I get New Years off, which is going to be good, I get to rest for a couple of days more, specially for the New Years, and i get to spend it with my dog, my fur-baby-child Toby. 

I am feeling so much better though trust me, and I am glad my blood sugars are not going stupid like they were when I was sick, trying to fight off the virus. As well as I am glad it did not get to worse, nor did I ended up in the hospital, which is a plus! I mean, who even likes the hospital anyway right! For sure I the hell don't! The only thing I feel is tired, that's pretty much it, but well enough to get back to work.

update 1: I am glad to say, I am feeling much better than I was a few days ago when I wrote to you guys. The antibiotics are working that's for sure, that's what antibiotics are for right? To help you get better, right? I hope you guys have a wonderful New Years.

Diabetes Daily....Let's Talk Diabetes

     Good Evening/Morning everyone,

How's everyone doing tonight. I am doing perfectly well enough, for tonight at least. Diabetes though, I dislike it most days, yet others I want to think I'm perfectly fine with it. That is because there is days where the numbers are so perfect, it makes me think I am doing something amazing or having the most amazing day ever. Other days the numbers are just disgusting enough it makes me think I am not doing anything right even though I do the best of my abilities.

    It makes feel like a failure when my blood sugars aren't doing as good as would like to. Yes, there is days where I hate it being a diabetic so much, it makes me wonder why I was ever diagnosed with it or why did I had to become a diabetic. Bur in a way, it makes me feel okay enough to be one because I can teach someone about it or explain to someone what diabetes is, or at least the different between type one (juvenile diabetes) and type 2. Though most people think and ask when I tell them I have diabetes they say "is that the bad one?" "is that the worse one?" I do not know what people think diabetes is, or when they think I cannot eat food at all, such as chocolate, soda, juice or whatever it is. I try and explain my diabetes in every which way possible in a way they may understand yet most are too stupid to want to understand. I don't understand what people think diabetes is, or what the differences are. All I hear is "oh yes my so and so has diabetes. They did such and such and now they do not have diabetes anymore. Maybe you should try it, and you can get off your meds, as well as you won't be diabetic anymore." So that's where I come in and try to explain about the one diabetes that I have and explain to them what the type of diabetes I have is. Or at least a simple explanation of the two is, that I believe people may understand, if so. 

    I remember too though, when I first got diagnosed with diabetes back in 1996, it was very difficult to deal with diabetes in every sense. Specially for a six-year-old child who knows not better about a chronic illness that they have to live with for the rest of their lives. Let alone a single mother who knew no better but did her best to deal with it. All I knew at that age was that I wanted to eat cake, candy and soda. I was always told I couldn't or just a simple no. I did not understand why I couldn't by my friends were able to just not me. I did not understand, why everyone else was able to enjoy, candy, soda, cake and all those good, tasty things kids love to eat, yet I was unable to do so. All I knew to do at that age was prick my fingers and inject myself at least 30 min before I had to eat. I did not even comprehend the whole diabetes thing at that age. I did not even know what that meant at six years old. 

    But now that I am older, I understand better how to manage my diabetes better than I did when I was in high school. I did rebel at that age, I did not want to do the whole pricking the falangies nor inject at all. I did do so, but not like I was supposed to. But anyway though, that is what it is. 

That is all my ranting for the day, Ill talk to you all soon....

Diabetes Daily…Technology

I haven’t talked to you guys in a long while, how is everyone doing though. Ive been well enough deal with the daily struggles of diabetes, and the daily lows, and highs. But that is is life as a diabetic right?

  But anyway, I wanted to come and talk about how technology has changed so much over the years since I got diagnosed with diabetes back in 1996. Though I am sure for many of you that are older than me it did changed much much more than it did for me. But in a way it changed as well, for me at least and many others that got diagnosed at around the same time as I did. 

  But anyway lets go on. 

Now I use an insulin pump and a dexcom (cgm) and that is a big deal for someone like me. I remember when I first got diagnosed, when I needed to check my blood sugar the glucose meter took at least five minutes to read my blood sugar (glucose). And that was a waiting game, and how long it took for it to give the results unlike now, some glucose meters take less than five seconds to give you a reading. Let alone the Dexcom. I remember though the first few newer versions of the glucose meter at least in my time when the companies where coming out iwth new meters, that took five seconds or less to give you the reading and that was amazing news!! For me at least and many others, because it gave more time to calculate the insulin that I needed to inject and the time for my body to process the insulin and regulate the blood sugar before the meal. For me at least was amazing news. Because I remember the times when I was asking about insulin pumps. I was always told I needed to be more regulated on my blood sugars, be like a hawk with my A1C , wich to me all the doctors that denied me the right to and insulin pump was letting me know i was never doing enough. But anyway, I felt the Drs never new or understood what it was like to have diabetes. None of the drs I had then were diabetic or any of such things. They just knew diabetes because school and all that shanenigans. But anyway, up until a few years ago, when I got the endocrinologist a different one, she and her team askd if I was a pump user I said I was not, and when the news came I was able to have an insulin pump and the dexcom. That was music to my ears! I was so exited that I was going to be using an insulin pump let alone the Dexcom thing I never new existed up until the endo explained to me what that was. I was so exited that I was finally able to be using one!

I was so happy that I was able to use some new technology for diabetes than what I was used to using. Making it easier for me to manage diabetes. Though I do not mind it pricking my fingers, to check my blood sugar, or using needles to inject insulin at all. Just amassed me how far technology has come for diabetes. I feel I am using a portable pancreas, that helps me correct blood sugars when needed, and the dexcom alerting me when I have a low or high blood sugar. It helps me know what steps i need to take next. Whether is to take a correction for the high or glucose for the low. I am glad i am able to use the technology I am. Other wise I do not know where I would be without it now. I am glad I get to use it since I feel lows when its a bit late. That’s not good, but I am happy I am able. 

Work & Blood Sugars…

     So, today while at work, my blood sugar went horribly low, or at least is how I felt it. Stupid low, it was at 44. Im glad I wasn’t on my own when it went that low, I had two security officers with me while I was doing my job. Im glad they where with me and I was able to get the help that I needed, such as getting me a cup of orange juice and a granola bar. I appreciate that so very much for the help and not letting me pass out with seizures. As well as calling someone that I work with to help me with what I needed help with. It was a dumb thing to do but somehow I needed help opening a door from an atm which is easy to do, but I needed some help opening the darn door, though Im glad I had someone helping me, even if it was just for that. 

    Letting people I work with that I have diabetes, it helps in many ways than others, such as them knowing if and when I may need the help. Or even if they ask me what my Dexcom or insulin pump is. I explain what it is for, some may ask what it is and that’s where I come in and explain what it is and such. I rather people ask me what the Dexcom is and what is used for. In some way I am teaching the person about my diabetes and what the thing on my arm is for along with the insulin pump just the in case they may work with someone like my self in the future.

    I am very happy that I work with people that even though some of them do not understand so much about the diabetes it self, they are willing to learn something here and there, and the ones who understand are willing to help even if is just to get me a cup of juice, candy or even just some damn water. I have an amazing group of people I work with that are remotely willing to help and understand or learn even just a little, I don’t know how I got so lucky in that sense. Im grateful even my manager is very understanding about such thing as well. 

The Price of Diabetes..

     So, recently I was pondering why is it that insulin a life saving drug for many of us is so stupidly expensive, when it cost merely pennies to make. Yet its to expensive to get, not only insulin but also other thins such as a glucose meter, test strips, glucose tablets, emergency kit aka Glucagon, etc. Such things why is it that they are expensive, expensive to the point that I have to almost decide whether if I want a roof over my head, food, and feed the dog, or life saving drug. 

    How is it that big pharma takes advantage of situation, who is it possible that a drug addict or alcoholic can have a small damn pill for free to “cure” them from such thing, and people like us who desperately need a life saving drug have to give up everything else only to have a life saving drug. Nothing against a person who is alcoholic, or addict I have nothing against them. But what I am against is why is it that they have everything for free such as narcan or whatever other meds to get them off from not overdosing or whatever, yet we have to pay thousands and thousands of dollars for something that keeps us alive.

    There have been too many deaths from people not being able to afford their insulin and other necesities what we require to live another day. It is very sad that the government isn’t doing anything to help or at least bring down the prices for such life saving drug. Why is it that rehab places receive free things and are willing to help someone with such things such as drug addiction, alcoholism and such things but aren’t willing to help a person with diabetes and get them free supplies such as free testing supplies, such as glucose meters, test strips, finger prickers, glucose tablets and such to help them manage their blood sugars and such. As well as the why is it bills to treat a person with diabetes are so expensive to the point of no return yet for anyone else those kinds of bills aren’t as high. Or is it just me..

    I was told by my iunsurance company that they would not sell me supplies for my insulin pump or the dexcom only because they decided not to tell me about the charges the times I was ordering supplies from the pharmacy. Such bill went up to almost $3000 something I wasnt not able to afford to pay in months or so. Im poor and I’m barely able to pay for rent and insulin. Rent is expensive let alone diabetes supplies and insulin, something that keeps me alive another damn day. 

Let’s talk Diabetes…

     Oh how I remember somewhat when I got diagnosed with Diabetes T1, it felt scary I was unconscious like no tomorrow. But it felt scary, specially for my mom, though I was able to hear her cries for help and her hoping I would not die. It was really scary, I remember in elementary school, just one day, it was difficult to breath. I was using the restroom way too often, vomiting, feeling too angry and angsty for no reason at all. It was really scary, I remember my classmates telling my why I was breathing the way I was. I felt out of breath even sitting down I felt out of breath, running to the restroom every five minutes. 

    Then boom one night, I remember my mom and my step dad, trying to wake me up, because I had peed the bed. I remember I heard my mom screaming for my step dad, as well as she shaking me to wake up, because the whole mattress was wet in pee. I was not waking up, it felt like everything went black I was not able to recall anything at all others than my mom crying on my stepdads arms “No my daughter!! My daughter what is wrong with her!! Please wake her up, I do not want my baby to die!! What is wrong with her!!” My step dad trying to calm her down with a calm panic in his voice, I was 5-6 years old then my sister barely 1-2 years old. She was afraid I’m so sure of it seeing my mom in such a way, and my step dad trying to calm her down. It felt scary me being in a coma for quite a while. I can only imagine the desperation of my mom, how my sister felt seeing my mom in such a way and my step dad, trying to be strong for my mom and my sister. I remember an emergency room full of nurses, Dr’s and my mom scared thinking I wasn’t going to make it, my sister such a baby then not knowing what the heck was going on but afraid because how my mom felt. It was a thought time for all of us after my diagnosis, that I was going to be on a life saving drug for the rest of my life. It was and still is a damn difficult time to handle and manage diabetes. It is easier now to deal and manage it, yes just like may of you out there with diabetes, I have the difficult where no matter what I do it all goes wrong. I have those days where I just want to give it all up and not deal with diabetes anymore, when I want to send it all to hell. But I don’t because I don’t want my mom to suffer for loosing her daughter, because I didn’t want to fight diabetes anymore. 

    I love my mom enough to not make her suffer in such a way. I love her too much and then some to make her deal with my dumb crazy ass, to give her hell and then some. I want her to be angry at me for either being low or high and her getting mad at me for not treating the low or high sugar soon enough. I want to hear her asking me what are my symptoms when low or high. 

    Diabetes has been my very, VERY!! Odd the hell is wrong with you why are you so out of control today no matter what I do friend. I have had people ask me what the Dexcom is and what is it for, Ive had others think is a nicotine patch which is really fucking hilarious!! Let’s not talk about the insulin pump, I’ve had many people think is either a beeper or an iPod yea the kind that sends music to my pancreas so I don’t die!

    I remember when I was working at a convenience store a lady asked me what the Dexom and Pump was…my first thought that came to mind to tell her was “it means Im a Robot! Beep beep!” The face the lady gave me was all to hilarious to me!! Could not help but laugh! And the person I was working with that day just bursted laughing so hard out loud about my response. We did ended up explaining to her what it was for, and that I had diabetes and such. That was one of the funniest responses to me that I have ever told someone when they asked what they were and what I used them for.

Oh Diabetes! Oh why please tell me why!!

   Hey everyone!! It’s been forever I’ve been around here, in this neighborhood! How are you doing today? How are you really doing…

  Me? I’m doing okay managing and fighting Diabetes as always, just like you. There’s days where I just want to give it up, and not deal with diabetes at all. There’s times when I just want to tell Diabetes, ‘you know what son of a gun?? Why don’t you shove it up your behind and take care of your self and leave me alone!’ But I don’t because, I want to see, talk, walk my dog. Because he’s not going to know why I’m gone, or why I don’t walk him, and give him kisses and such. Because I want to see my mom, talk to her, argue with her, tell her I love her, and most of all!! I don’t want to make her suffer, because I didn’t take care of my self. She worries about me specially when my blood sugars go so low, it’s stupendously ridiculous to get it to go up some days. It’s so stubborn it won’t go up other days it gets ridiculously high! It won’t go down no matter how much insulin I shoot up.

  There’s days when it’s so perfect! It’s the most perfect line on the Dexcom! I want to party hard! That’s just some of the many reasons why I take care of it. As well because I don’t want to hear the “Why didn’t you ever care for your self!” Until they find out how difficult it is to deal with diabetes and how stupid it is day to day, 24/7/365. It is exhausting, overwhelming, mentally and physically and emotionally, difficult to deal with it, now living with it?? I’ve been doing this shit over 30yrs, I’ve lost so much sleep, I’ve cried, screamed, gotten angry on the why did it had to me! And not someone else, why me the fuck me!! And not the person who hunted that one child! But then I think about it and say to my self, ‘why the hell mot me!!’ I’ve dealt with Diabetes for so long! I may be able to help someone else that just got diagnosed with the ‘betes, I may be able to give them pointers how they can manage it, help that little kid, teenage, or even adult how they can. Even help that someone that knows a someone or a family member or friend who knows a friend, how they can help them. 

 I wear my Dwxcom and Insulin Pump, out in the open visible, and I’ve had many people ask me what it is and what is for. And I explain what’s it for and what it helps with and such. I like it when people ask me, I’ve even had other Type Ones flag their flags out, and giving the ‘hey look me to!! Now where besties! Hell yeah!!’ And I love it!

               Yours truly 

                                     VENUZHEY!