My thoughts as a Diabetic my self

  There has been days that I do not want to deal with my Diabetes at all and I want to send it all to hell, others Im all fine with it and others I think to my self if is even real that I have Diabetes at all. It sometimes just feels surreal that I have diabetes. It feels like just leaving a damn dream with Diabetes. With the ups and downs and the normal ones of diabetes. You know what I mean with that if you have or know a person with Diabetes. It is not fair to have this deseas at all. I wonder some days why is there such cures for anything else that we hear on TV but not for Diabetes ever. Its just all about, "oh you could try this I heard/know you can cure your Diabetes because my so and so does not have it anymore" or "I know cinnamon helps cure Diabetes and all you need to do it and give it a try". All this apparent "cures" we hear left and right up and down and shit why is it that no one with Diabetes has gotten cured with any of that crap we all so hear about.

       Now hows it possible that we hear about such cures for Diabetes and hows it gonna come in 5(five) years yet theres no cure at all. Now this is the stupid part, every 5 years we are told that there will be a damn cure the D within so and so time but there is nothing yet to cure our Diabetes at all. I dislike how they all promise a damn cure but yet there is none yet and people keep being diagnosed with Diabetes everyday. 

      Diabetes is not about how some apparent foods will cure it or any of that stuff we all hear is about that we don't want to hear about it. We just want to just not have it at all, there is days is so hard to control the damn thing no matter how hard you try and no matter what you do it wont just control, and there is days that it all goes so smooth. The highs are something else those suckers sneack up on you like damn what the hell were you come from then again they make you just sweeter and you already are. The lows are just some suckers too, they make you eat like a damn crazy and next thing you know your kitchen is empty and you don't even know where all your candy, sodas and glucose tablets went to. Just because your sugar went so low to the damn ground. 

      Then again everyones Diabetes is different and everyone deals with it in a different way. 

But I am sure that when someone gets a low all the candy is their best friend even the one they don't even like at all, all or the majority of the junk food is your best friend because you just need to get that sour low up and get it sweeter or at least just a little. The highs are just so damn grumpy all the sweetness wants to come out all at once in different ways. That is why we need exercise and water even though we are gonna go to the restroom every so often its like we live there when the highs sneak up on us.

      Now some of you may relate to this some of you wont. Its all just trying to understand Diabetes from a person with Diabetes has to say. 

You may comment down below any topic you may want me to talk about or just any thing you'd like

to know. Hope to hear from you soon, Kisses darlings.

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         JUPITER

Seizures... Of a Low Blood Sugar

A day or so ago I had a bad experience with a low.

I woke up in the morning, but felt paralyzed, I could not move at all. It felt as if something or someone was holding me down. Every time I wanted to move it felt weird and I could not move as hard as I tried I couldn't. It was too scary, since I live alone and experiencing that. It felt as if I was dead being alive. Somehow though I managed to call my neighbor for help, and managed to drag self to unlock the door. I was scared, didn't know what to think but just maybe that it might of been my self that did that. But I'm sure it was not me. Maybe my body withdrew from stress and worries and that's not good.
When I feel sick like that, my Diabetes going whack and weird on me it feels as if is all my fault. I know it is not but it just feels that way though. Or just maybe next time it happens I'm not going to make it. That probably I'll just end up gone, and I don't want that, not yet at least. It scares me when that happens, because I'm not young but I'm not old ether. I have experienced exiting things but not everything. Many people say its always my fault that it happens, but they don't know what I do everyday to keep my self alive for the next few minutes, or hours not my life. Maybe to even see the last sunset for Satan's sake!! People need to understand its not easy having to deal with diabetes. They don't know what I have to do every day or the other diabetics out there to keep our selves alive.

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Diabetes is Wacked......(Hospital Bed)

Last night something happened to me.. I was at my neighbors house right? It was all right and everything okay, till all of a sudden my Diabetes/Blood Sugar went all waked on me. My blood sugar was on the 100's but it felt,as if it was low or something. I felt scared, as if I was dead or something. It was and still is a scary feeling, it all felt like a dream. Felt like I was a goner, and couldn't do anything about it. Then they take me to some damn room to scan my head?!?! What the hell!!! I as well fell like some weird robot from all the crap they sticked on me. Anyway! I am not dead!! �� ��

Diabetes Roller Coaster Ride (HI's & LO's)

When my blood sugar gets low there's times I feel retarded, confused and too lazy. There are times that it feels like if I'm high on something. There's times too I feel lost I don't know where I am. The times that my I have seizures because of my low blood sugars half my body feels paralyzed I can't move it right, and when I try to walk I end up falling because my body it's just not right half of it and it really does not feel good, it really doesn't. It makes me feel like I'm not doing something right. When my blood sugar is high it feels weird too. I hate it because every five minutes I'm in the restroom. It's not good and I can't do nothing. And of course I lose weight the fast way. There's times I feel like throwing up, which I have had in the past and ended up in the hospital with DKA and shit. Thinking to my self, I could have died but didn't. Maybe I'm just lucky. That nothing worse has had happened. Everytime that my blood sugar is high and lose a few pounds I gain it all back when my blood sugar is low. It's stupid. When I get sick because of my blood sugar being high or low it makes me feel like I'm not doing anything right. I know I'm doing the best I can, but it makes me feel that way because you know the damn Dr.'s always tell you, you aren't doing nothing help you're damn self and it's your fault your blood sugars are always a damn fucking roller coaster. That pisses me off because they don't understand what I do and what I go trough on the daily basis to keep my self alive. ��

Diabetic Diagnosis

Okay, so when I got diagnosed with Diabetes was when I was in elementary school. I was about 7/8 years old. And I was in 3rd or 4th grade. What I remember happened is one day I started breathing in a weird deep breath. It felt like I could not breath at all like someone was sucking the dang breath out of me. It didn't feel so good at all. Then it went to me having to run out of class for the restroom to throw up, every so often the teacher was angry at me and started to not like me because of it yet worried because she didn't know what was going on. There were even times I peed my self because ether the teacher would not let me go to the restroom or because I didn't make it. Why?! Because I had to be every minute or so, I lost so much weight I looked anorexic almost with dark circles under my eyes. At times I felt so tiered I didn't wanna do anything. One night, my step-dad and my mom found me, in my bed not good I guess. I remember my whole bed was wet in pee, the whole damn thing. I remember my mom and step-dad called 911 I think. After a while I remember I was in a room, what I saw or think I saw was a very bright white light. That's all I remember seeing the whole time. But I do remember hearing my mom crying her eyes out because she thought I was going to die, and my step-dad trying so hard to not cry just to calm my mom down, telling her it was all going to be okay. There were so many Dr.s and nurses making sure I was okay that I wasn't going to die or any of that crap. I was in a comma for about 3 to 4 months I believe. After I woke up from the comma I was in the hospital for a while. In a way "home schooled" because my mom and dad had to bring me homework and what not. Getting back to school was so hard having to re-adjust to everything. It was difficult because because I couldn't really eat what every one was eating. The lunch ladies took the candy off the apples from the candy apples they serve in Texas for breakfast in schools. It was just so hard, I was a kid that wanted to do kid things like stuffing my self with fucking candy, eating cake all the time, chocolates and sodas. You know kid things, but I was prohibited from doing those things. I was always or,most the damn time on a fucking "diet" and I didn't liked it inc whatsoever. What's a kid supposed to do when they are told you can't eat candy no more for the rest of their lives. Find a dang way to eat cans right?? And soda and all that shit right?!?! Anyway, it was hard for me when I was a child having to deal with Diabetes. Its still hard to this day, dealing with Diabetes 24/7 IT IS NOT EASY PEOPLE!! No body told is it was but why didn't they. Because maybe it is that they don't and they don't have to deal with it but is Diabetics. �� jupiter

Diabetes & S**t

Okay so I was browsing trough the internet about D you know and I came to find many things but what caught my eye in some way was/is. How come we Diabetics are "forced" or mandated to follow a damn diet or ruled WHAT TO or WHAT NOT TO eat at all. That's just stood in my opinion. Were people like anyone else who want to and are supposed to eat whatever we want. Why should I as a Diabetic deprive my self from eating something I want to eat or like to eat just because the dang Dr. and his/her minions and other people say and think we shouldn't eat that.  If wanna eat it and they tell me no HECK THAT I WILL eat it 2x and in front of their faces just because she/he said no to me. Just to piss them off and say "you see what happens when you tell me I can't or shouldn't eat that?!" Yea maybe I'm a crazy girl with Diabetes Type (DT1) that does what she wants but what I dislike the most I'd when I get told I shouldn't. Another thing to, that I get told. That I "should" eat at the same times everyday. But no I don't eat at the same times everyday because I don't feel like it and because people keep telling me the same s**t over and over again. And it's None-Diabetics ALWAYS!! What do they know about my Diabetes out just Diabetes in general. NOTHING!! Maybe the None-Diabetics should just shut it because they just should. I will keep asking what I want and eating what I WANT because I CAN!! And do it in front of the people specially Dr.'s that told me not to because yes! And to make them angry and you all know what I mean right?? Just a small rant about Diabetes and shit. 

�� Jupiter

Diabetes is not easy.... EVER!!

Don't you hate when people tell you and think they know more about your Diabetes than you or just Diabetes in general?! It angers me a lot, because is like they do not know what's like to deal with it in the daily basis 24/7 at all. They do know know nothing, yet they say they do and try to make you do things or what not because what you do is not okay or it's not what a Diabetic should do. The Dr.'s don't know what we do our struggle with just to keep our sugar level okay or or at least on a "normal" range at all. No body knows our efforts more than us yet we get told we are not doing it right. Or that the things we do are wrong that we should do it the way they tell us. But guess what Dr. dude!! You ain't the diabetic one here I AM!! What bugs me about the people I tell that I'm Diabetic, it's that they think that know more than me, or that they are experts in that just because their whom ever family member has it. But just because they know someone that has Diabetes does not mean they know more than me or them. Many people say to me "oh you should not be eating this or you should not eating that but eat this instead is better for you." That bothers me a lot. Just because I got the D does not mean I can't eat nothing. I'm just a normal person that is able to eat what ever the hell she wants as much as I WANT WHEN I WANT because I FUCKING CAN!!!! I'll just give my self the whole bottle of insulin if I have to. To me at least most times it is difficult having to deal with my Diabetes because having to prick my fingers so many times a day, and having to inject insulin everyday 24/7 just to keep my self alive it is difficult! To the point I don't want to do it at all anymore. There's times I just want to give up having to check my blood sugar and injecting because it's just to much, I feel like its to much at times. Dealing with Diabetes is to much work, why don't I get paid for it already. There is days I cry because I have Diabetes and I ask my self why, why me why do I have to deal with it, but then I think to my self why NOT me. Because if it were someone else with Diabetes they would not know how to deal with it like I do, in the ways I deal with it. You know what keeps me going dealing with my Diabetes?? What keeps me going is that I want to keep giving hell to my family, and ex boyfriend and maybe because I want to be the next Million Dollar Baby. Though I know that'll never happen but I just want to keep my hopes up for that, or maybe become a badass Lawyer that never losses like the Kardashian dude with the O.J. Simpson case. Well, that's me dealing with Diabetes, and ranting about people and Dr.'s that don't know about Diabetes like I do. 

Jupiter <3 <3

DUnconference

So, I was over the weekend in a Diabetic UnConference which was fun. Got to meet new people, who understand what's like to have Diabetes or to be a Diabetic. Though not everyone's diabetes is the same, and everyone deals with it in a different way though we all who are diabetic understand what's that like. I'm happy I got to know people who are just like me diabetes wise. We all got to share our story in some way. Talked about how we deal with it or house frustrating it is to have it and that none diabetics DO NOT understand what's it like. Knowing people and making new friends that we have something in common that I can talk to them about or just ask them for help it's nice because they'll understand to an extent. So I'm happy about that, and I hope I can see them again in the future, in another DUnconference.

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