Oh Diabetes! Oh why please tell me why!!

   Hey everyone!! It’s been forever I’ve been around here, in this neighborhood! How are you doing today? How are you really doing…

  Me? I’m doing okay managing and fighting Diabetes as always, just like you. There’s days where I just want to give it up, and not deal with diabetes at all. There’s times when I just want to tell Diabetes, ‘you know what son of a gun?? Why don’t you shove it up your behind and take care of your self and leave me alone!’ But I don’t because, I want to see, talk, walk my dog. Because he’s not going to know why I’m gone, or why I don’t walk him, and give him kisses and such. Because I want to see my mom, talk to her, argue with her, tell her I love her, and most of all!! I don’t want to make her suffer, because I didn’t take care of my self. She worries about me specially when my blood sugars go so low, it’s stupendously ridiculous to get it to go up some days. It’s so stubborn it won’t go up other days it gets ridiculously high! It won’t go down no matter how much insulin I shoot up.

  There’s days when it’s so perfect! It’s the most perfect line on the Dexcom! I want to party hard! That’s just some of the many reasons why I take care of it. As well because I don’t want to hear the “Why didn’t you ever care for your self!” Until they find out how difficult it is to deal with diabetes and how stupid it is day to day, 24/7/365. It is exhausting, overwhelming, mentally and physically and emotionally, difficult to deal with it, now living with it?? I’ve been doing this shit over 30yrs, I’ve lost so much sleep, I’ve cried, screamed, gotten angry on the why did it had to me! And not someone else, why me the fuck me!! And not the person who hunted that one child! But then I think about it and say to my self, ‘why the hell mot me!!’ I’ve dealt with Diabetes for so long! I may be able to help someone else that just got diagnosed with the ‘betes, I may be able to give them pointers how they can manage it, help that little kid, teenage, or even adult how they can. Even help that someone that knows a someone or a family member or friend who knows a friend, how they can help them. 

 I wear my Dwxcom and Insulin Pump, out in the open visible, and I’ve had many people ask me what it is and what is for. And I explain what’s it for and what it helps with and such. I like it when people ask me, I’ve even had other Type Ones flag their flags out, and giving the ‘hey look me to!! Now where besties! Hell yeah!!’ And I love it!

               Yours truly 

                                     VENUZHEY!

Work Stress and Blood Sugars

    That last few weeks my blood sugars have been dropping so low to the point I’ve had to call 911 on my self and call off work, because it’s been a crazy stressful few weeks. My blood sugars have dropped at work even, to the point the manager/s had needed to call the emts but they don’t. They just leave me to my own devices, and as you all know when your blood sugars drops your not your self and you need assistance from someone right? 

    But no, I don’t get any at work, it has been horrible for me, not getting the assistance that I need/require at all. That’s not okay. At work I do not expect anyone to understand diabetes or know how it feels like, but wouldn’t you think management would at least call someone to assist when in dire need one of their employees needs it? That’s the least they could do wouldn’t you think? Not at my work place, and that’s it to mention they force me to go back to work, and get everything done when I don’t even feel okay. Not to mention they don’t even ask if I’m even okay at all. I’ve had to walk out of work, because of y blood sugars being so low. 

   I’ve been looking for another job lately on the downlow of it all. I do not want to keep on being overworked at all when my health is being jeopardized. That’s not okay.

Diabetes at work…

   It’s been so long I’ve post anything here, I feel like I’ve been too lazy and obviously busy with work just like everyone else around here. If I could make this my job writing about diabetes all the time from personal experience and all I so would, but I think I’d get some type of burnout or something like that. But other than that everything good but not so good. 

   Lately I’ve been having to call off work that  I’m not able to show up because either I’ve had a severe low on the verge of seizing or after having a damn seizure that I’ve had to all the ambulance on my self. I honestly do not know how I’m even able to do it or have the strength to do it, but somehow I do. At times like that, I feel like SuperWoman and Wonder Woman all in one. Being my own hero at the worse and best of times. Like anyone of us, specifically when you live alone with a small chihuahua with a heart murmur who’s a rescue. I love that darn dog so much. 

   Anyway, getting off track here, as I mentioned before I’ve had to call off work many times before because of diabetes. Any of you that read my blogs and are type ones or two’s more specifically ones, you know how the hell it feels when your blood sugar goes down so much, you or someone has had to call the ambulance while or after having a seizure. It does not feel so good you feel like shit, or at least I do. I feel weak, that I all I want to do is stay in bed, all day. At that point I don’t even think about work.

  Sometime last week/week and a half or so, I was at work as I worker the night shift, I don’t exactly remember what time it was, I remember I had asked my manager on shift if I was able to get one of the cookies we sell as I work in a foodcourt restaurant inside a casino, that’s was going to pay for it as soon as I was able to. So he was able to give me some brownie chips or some shit. Mind you I was drinking soda like stupid, it felt like that wasn’t working because next thing I know, I didn’t know where I was. I had gone for a restroom break, at that time, I was trying to tie the apron but I was having a difficult time, as if I’d forgotten how to tie the apron, something simple that any is able to do. But at that time I’d forgotten how to do it. Next thing I know I was at the restaurant, one of my coworkers was talking to me and from what I remember, they said I needed to prep something for them, then next thing I know I was grabbing my things and  walked out of work like nothing. It all did but didn’t looked familiar, in the moment it felt like I didn’t belong there at all. After that I don’t really remember much other than walking, next thing I know I was at the bus stop where I take the bus to go home. That’s when my manager messaged me where I was. I apologized and said to him I was low in my blood department, that wasn’t feeling too well. I felt like shit walking out without a word, just like that. 

   And yesterday waking up from a nap, my blood sugar was at 30, i just woke up scared that I wasn’t boto wakes in time to take the dog out on his walk for his business. Poor thing saved me somehow, he just did what he needed to do and looks at me like, ‘ok I’m done let’s go home, you no good hooman’ I don’t know why I had to call my mom to tell her though, I FaceTimed her, so she knew I was well even though not fully there. Yes I ate PB&J sandwich and juice before calling her…I’m okay now, I’m just glad it didn’t went to serious matters, which I’m really happy for.

Alright guys that is it for today! If you guys like comment anything you’d like me to talk bout next and subscribe to keep an eye out for the next post.

                                        Piece & Love, Venuz