Public Diabetes Display (PDD)

   So, I want to talk about when my self having diabetes and when I go out there have been times, where I have the need to check my blood sugar and take insulin shots. When I go out to eat with family and/or friends there has been times where I do it. Usually when I do that I get random looks from strangers as they were thinking "what is she doing, why is she not in the restroom doing that, ew" or "why is she doing such a thing as getting high". I have the feeling that people do that but hey when you got to do that why not right?

   There was one time though where I heard someone say behind me something along the line "she is getting high why would she be doing that in public and all" so I went over to tell her the reason why I was doing such thing. Friends that know that I have diabetes and obviously my family don't seem to mind so much that I check my blood sugar in front of them, they just kind of ignore it. Since they know I have to do it, but at times I tend to get asked if it hurts and how I am able to deal with such thing and what not. They also say that they would not be able to do such a thing because they are scared of needles or what not. That is when I come in and tell them that if I not do it I will end up in the hospital, or just dying. Yes it hurts at times pricking my fingers or injecting insulin, it sometimes burns, but hey is either I deal with the burning sensation of insulin and pricking fingers or I wont last for another day or for the next few hours or what not.

   Yes it is hard to deal with diabetes on a daily basis, and there has been times I just don't want to deal with it but I think to my self, why not deal with it and live another day to talk to my family and friends even if it's to give them a hard time and some hell here and there. So to the people that stare at someone pricking their finger and injecting insulin, don't stare like we are some maniacs or some crazy people getting high in public. Maybe you should take the time and ask what they are doing and if you see them not looking okay ask if they need some kind of help, do not be ignorant if they tell you they have diabetes or whatever else they may have. Because you do not know what challenges they may be taking just to be alive for few more hours. Some of us may have certain amount of time to live and we our selves may not know it and all we are trying to do is live another day. Do not be telling us what we should or should not do. We are the ones that know more of our diabetes than our Doctors do. We are able to eat anything you are able to eat but with moderation. It is nothing out of the world. We are not aliens we are not some type of weird freak either. We are our own hero, that can save our self. All we want is just a dang cure so we don't have to deal with it any more, why?? Because you do not how hard it is to have to deal with diabetes 24/7/365. If you want to know how to help a person with diabetes just ask them, and we will be able to help you. Each person with diabetes deals with it in a different way, a persons diabetes is different from someone else's diabetes. There is days my diabetes is such a roller coaster, one minute it could be just fine but thirty (30) mutes later it could be hight that I am way to sweet, and I am not my self, the next hour or so it
could be low to the ground and I don't know what I'm doing

and I could not even know who I am at times or where I am or any of that. I may start eating anything and everything that comes to hand and is reachable. It is not a pretty feeling either way. From my experience from being a diabetic for 19+ I can tell you that at times I wish I didn't have diabetes at all, I wish I was a "normal" person. Yes there is times I ask my self what did I do wrong to end up being diagnosed with diabetes at such young age of seven (7). But then again I tell my self my immune system just screwed up and decided to attack my well functioning pancreas and give me this life sentence, that I did not wish for at all, not even on my dreams did I wish to have it. All I know is that I am a well strong person that can handle it and knows how to deal with it. Yes there is times it all just goes wrong. But hey that's what comes with it right??


To any of you who are dealing with diabetes or just got diagnosed with diabetes I want you to know that you are not alone. There are many of us out there, you just got to go find them and talk to someone that could and will understand your struggle that you are going through. Yes it is not easy at all, but I know you can over come it and be a hero to someone, and show them how much of a badass you are kicking Diabetes ass.


Jupiter <3 <3

http://diatribe.org/diabetes-blogs-and-forums

http://thediabetesheroes.com/index.html

Diabetes and I

   Diabetes don't bother me at all but you know?? There are days or times where I just feel like I am living a dream with a chronic desease called Diabetes. I was diagnosed when I was about six or seven  years old, at the time everything was just new to me and my family, following a "rigid" diet where my mom would not let me eat sweets such as soda, candy, or any of that stuff. It was difficult for me and of course my family too. Having to constantly prick my fingers to check my blood sugar and up to eight infections a day just to stabilize my glucose. 

   At times when I am checking my blood sugar it just feels so unreal, as if it were not me doing such thing, or when I inject the insulin before every meal. It just all seems like such a lie, as if it were somebody else in my body doing all of this. I get frustrated, angry and said and I constantly ask my self why do I have to deal with such thing. Why can I not have diabetes at all, it just all makes me so angry at my self, sad, depressed, and everything in between. There is times I just cant help it but burst in tears and ask my self if I did anything to have diabetes at all, and if I could had done something different I would not have it. Yes there is days that I feel sorry for my self when I shouldn't, I fight this battle on having to deal with diabetes. It is a daily battle dealing with all of this. There is days/times when I just don't want to deal with my diabetes and I want to give it all up have something happen. I just don't do so because I know my family will miss me even friends and my pet. 

   This battle against diabetes is so difficult and at times it feels as if no one understands how I feel inside. Pricking my fingers to have at least a tiny speckle of blood to check my blood sugar, and having to inject so much of insulin so it all stays stable and not end up in the hospital. Having diabetes is not ok at all, because everything you have to do and battle against. People being so ignorant about diabetes and thinking they know more than you do when you are the one dealing with it every single day at all hours, minutes, and seconds of everyday.  I really DO NOT I repeat DO NOT wish on someone to have diabetes at all whatsoever. 

   I remember when I was newly diagnosed it hurted to prick my fingers and the burning sensation whenever I had to give my self shots. It was the hardest thing in the world and it still is, because there is times or days or whatever that you do not know what to do about it, or you just want to give up but you just don't because you want to live another day, just to see or talk to friends and family, go out on a walk with your dog or wanting to ride your bicycle or something. I wish I never would have diabetes at all. I know it was not my fault having diabetes but it feels like it all was my fault, that maybe I could have had done something different maybe I would never have diabetes at all. 

   There is days like I say I feel angry, sad, depressed and everything in between because of my diabetes. 

P.S. The video above is not me, is something I found on youtube.

Jupiter <3 <3

Ignorants about Diabetes

   So, today I was talking to someone about my Diabetes and trying to explain that I needed to take medications (insulin shots) everyday. In oder to live for another day or hour or what not. This person was telling me how apparently if I did this or did that or if I ate the "right" foods or did such exercise or ate that kind of food or what not, I would get off the insulin/medications, and how my pancreas did work. When it clearly does not! This person was saying how his Dr. said to him if he lost so many pounds he would not take any medication or metforming or whatever he would take for his so called Diabetes. As well as he was not taking her medications because he lost about 30lbs or something like that, she was not taking his medication because of that, and how she only took it when he was eating certain carbs and whatnot. This pissed me off so bad, when I was to tell this person that I just can't just stop like that taking insulin or taking such medication because according to this person my pancreas did work. How I needed to lose so many ponds or some weight because according to this person I had Diabetes because my weight.

   I was trying so hard to not get bothered about this but it got to me how some people are so ignorant about Diabetes or any other sickness like that. This went on me trying to explain to this person about my Diabetes, and how my pancreas does not work, and how my immune system attacked my pancreas, and if I stopped taking my medications I would end up in the hospital for the highs that I would get and how I would get may complications for not taking the medication or what not. I kept repeating the same thing in so many different ways for this person to understand this to the point I just pissed this person of that it decided to just walk away because this person needed to take a "piss" just because this person could not handle all the crap I was tell them about if I stopped taking medications or if I did this or that I would not live another day. Or just plainly die, if I just stopped all at once.

   I also said to this person how he would love it if I said to her how to handle his desease or what ever she had going on with his health. I said to put him self in that position on everybody telling her every day at all hours of the day how he is supposed to handle it or what he is supposed to do or not to do. How is it that some people are just to damn stupid and ignorant about such things like that. That they only want people to listen to them but they do not want to listen to no one else. I just dislike how people try to tell me how to deal with my Diabetes, and what I am supposed to do or not do. and how if I tried such things I would be "cured" or not be able to take insulin anymore. Because hey if that were the thing. I would had been "cured" ages ago, doing all my best, and eating all the "right" foods and doing so much exercise. Just to stay balanced or for at least one of my blood sugars to be on the right track for at least five minutes to an hour. Hows it possible that a none Diabetic person thinks they know more about Diabetes than the Diabetic person it self. This is my theory, if someone wants to know about Diabetes or at least about my Diabetes, as me and I will tell you. Just ask a Diabetic person and I am sure they will be more than happy to tell you about Diabetes, and how that person deals with it on a daily basis. Instead of giving advice without being asked just fucking ask. Do not assume and do not give advice or whatever, unless you are being asked for one.http://www.diabetes.org/diabetes-basics/

My thoughts as a Diabetic my self

  There has been days that I do not want to deal with my Diabetes at all and I want to send it all to hell, others Im all fine with it and others I think to my self if is even real that I have Diabetes at all. It sometimes just feels surreal that I have diabetes. It feels like just leaving a damn dream with Diabetes. With the ups and downs and the normal ones of diabetes. You know what I mean with that if you have or know a person with Diabetes. It is not fair to have this deseas at all. I wonder some days why is there such cures for anything else that we hear on TV but not for Diabetes ever. Its just all about, "oh you could try this I heard/know you can cure your Diabetes because my so and so does not have it anymore" or "I know cinnamon helps cure Diabetes and all you need to do it and give it a try". All this apparent "cures" we hear left and right up and down and shit why is it that no one with Diabetes has gotten cured with any of that crap we all so hear about.

       Now hows it possible that we hear about such cures for Diabetes and hows it gonna come in 5(five) years yet theres no cure at all. Now this is the stupid part, every 5 years we are told that there will be a damn cure the D within so and so time but there is nothing yet to cure our Diabetes at all. I dislike how they all promise a damn cure but yet there is none yet and people keep being diagnosed with Diabetes everyday. 

      Diabetes is not about how some apparent foods will cure it or any of that stuff we all hear is about that we don't want to hear about it. We just want to just not have it at all, there is days is so hard to control the damn thing no matter how hard you try and no matter what you do it wont just control, and there is days that it all goes so smooth. The highs are something else those suckers sneack up on you like damn what the hell were you come from then again they make you just sweeter and you already are. The lows are just some suckers too, they make you eat like a damn crazy and next thing you know your kitchen is empty and you don't even know where all your candy, sodas and glucose tablets went to. Just because your sugar went so low to the damn ground. 

      Then again everyones Diabetes is different and everyone deals with it in a different way. 

But I am sure that when someone gets a low all the candy is their best friend even the one they don't even like at all, all or the majority of the junk food is your best friend because you just need to get that sour low up and get it sweeter or at least just a little. The highs are just so damn grumpy all the sweetness wants to come out all at once in different ways. That is why we need exercise and water even though we are gonna go to the restroom every so often its like we live there when the highs sneak up on us.

      Now some of you may relate to this some of you wont. Its all just trying to understand Diabetes from a person with Diabetes has to say. 

You may comment down below any topic you may want me to talk about or just any thing you'd like

to know. Hope to hear from you soon, Kisses darlings.

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         JUPITER

Seizures... Of a Low Blood Sugar

A day or so ago I had a bad experience with a low.

I woke up in the morning, but felt paralyzed, I could not move at all. It felt as if something or someone was holding me down. Every time I wanted to move it felt weird and I could not move as hard as I tried I couldn't. It was too scary, since I live alone and experiencing that. It felt as if I was dead being alive. Somehow though I managed to call my neighbor for help, and managed to drag self to unlock the door. I was scared, didn't know what to think but just maybe that it might of been my self that did that. But I'm sure it was not me. Maybe my body withdrew from stress and worries and that's not good.
When I feel sick like that, my Diabetes going whack and weird on me it feels as if is all my fault. I know it is not but it just feels that way though. Or just maybe next time it happens I'm not going to make it. That probably I'll just end up gone, and I don't want that, not yet at least. It scares me when that happens, because I'm not young but I'm not old ether. I have experienced exiting things but not everything. Many people say its always my fault that it happens, but they don't know what I do everyday to keep my self alive for the next few minutes, or hours not my life. Maybe to even see the last sunset for Satan's sake!! People need to understand its not easy having to deal with diabetes. They don't know what I have to do every day or the other diabetics out there to keep our selves alive.

<3

Diabetes is Wacked......(Hospital Bed)

Last night something happened to me.. I was at my neighbors house right? It was all right and everything okay, till all of a sudden my Diabetes/Blood Sugar went all waked on me. My blood sugar was on the 100's but it felt,as if it was low or something. I felt scared, as if I was dead or something. It was and still is a scary feeling, it all felt like a dream. Felt like I was a goner, and couldn't do anything about it. Then they take me to some damn room to scan my head?!?! What the hell!!! I as well fell like some weird robot from all the crap they sticked on me. Anyway! I am not dead!! �� ��

Diabetes Roller Coaster Ride (HI's & LO's)

When my blood sugar gets low there's times I feel retarded, confused and too lazy. There are times that it feels like if I'm high on something. There's times too I feel lost I don't know where I am. The times that my I have seizures because of my low blood sugars half my body feels paralyzed I can't move it right, and when I try to walk I end up falling because my body it's just not right half of it and it really does not feel good, it really doesn't. It makes me feel like I'm not doing something right. When my blood sugar is high it feels weird too. I hate it because every five minutes I'm in the restroom. It's not good and I can't do nothing. And of course I lose weight the fast way. There's times I feel like throwing up, which I have had in the past and ended up in the hospital with DKA and shit. Thinking to my self, I could have died but didn't. Maybe I'm just lucky. That nothing worse has had happened. Everytime that my blood sugar is high and lose a few pounds I gain it all back when my blood sugar is low. It's stupid. When I get sick because of my blood sugar being high or low it makes me feel like I'm not doing anything right. I know I'm doing the best I can, but it makes me feel that way because you know the damn Dr.'s always tell you, you aren't doing nothing help you're damn self and it's your fault your blood sugars are always a damn fucking roller coaster. That pisses me off because they don't understand what I do and what I go trough on the daily basis to keep my self alive. ��